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Laura Kunzelman
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Disintegration - Luke Chueh
Paramjeet put on thick itchy woollen socks and too much Old Spice to cover up other smells. His apartment smelt like cat piss and curry even though he didn’t have a cat or eat curry.
Paramjeet Bhatnagar, meaning ‘highest success,’ came from Haryana, India to Winnipeg in August and had not found a job the entire two months. This cold day Paramjeet was going to Wilson Lee Brown Accounting Services where he heard they have a good reputation of hiring newly arrived immigrants. He could tell just as sure as the shit he was taking.
The hem on Paramjeet’s pants was too short, making them look like they belonged to his bastard cousin who threw rocks at him as a child and used to tell his parents that he fingered the cat. His cousin was a high profile journalist now.
The only tie Paramjeet owned didn’t go with his too small suit. He put it over his unironed shirt anyway. His thick itchy woollen socks, hard to fit into his size-too-small shoes, bothered him constantly. The bottoms of his size-too-small shoes were worn and Paramjeet noticed that the shoelace on his right shoe could break at any moment. The haircut Paramjeet’s wife Bala gave him last night that was too short left irritating little hairs on his back.
Paramjeet pulled all five blankets off the bed to make it. The bedroom didn’t get warm because the window never did close when he opened it when he first moved in to air out the smell of cat piss and curry.
Esmeralda, or ‘Ezzie,’ that lady who lives in the hallway of 10110 Arnold Avenue, was sleeping. Paramjeet locked the door to apartment 69, which is supposed to be 66. Paramjeet made a mental note to speak with the landlord about the missing screw on the second six for the second time that week. It was Monday.
The bus schedule Paramjeet keeps on the side of his fridge read the number 47 to City Hall comes at 8:32. A glance at his watch with a broken second hand shows him that he is two minutes early.
The three other people waiting for the bus got on. The bus driver closed the door, waiting at the red light. Knocking at the door, Paramjeet was finally let on. He paid his fare hearing “I didn’t even see you.”
A child cried near the front of the bus. Paramjeet thought that the kid must be crying because he didn’t get to choose his parents; just like him. Paramjeet cried a lot as a kid. Or were these the child’s aunt and uncle? The boy’s father, or uncle said, “I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Paramjeet’s never did think his father liked him very much. He never did say so, but Paramjeet could tell. Fathers who like their children don’t make them sleep on the floor and throw rocks at them when they have malaria.
“You’ll never make it,” was all his father said to him before Paramjeet and Bala’s plane left for Canada.
A middle aged man was seated in the section reserved for handicapped individuals and mothers with small children. An Aboriginal woman came on with a stroller. The man wouldn’t move when asked. Instead he cursed the native woman and her small child. An African American lady came on the bus with her baby in a stroller at the stop in front of Safeway. There were two strollers in the aisle the entire bus ride. The bitter man did not move.
Paramjeet closed his eyes to think of his possible new job. His bastard cousin wouldn’t pick on him anymore, Bala could go grocery shopping and not shop from the reduced for quick sale racks, and he could purchase new shoes that were not a size too small.
Traffic was heavy for a holiday. Probably because of the event that was being held at the Forks. The bus was delayed. Riders bickered and yelled “back door!” A woman who talked to herself sat beside Paramjeet and spoke of how a man in Georgia married a goat; it wasn’t even his goat. She mumbled something about how she has four cavities but won’t go to the dentist because he’s actually a serial killer and wants to touch her in the chair.
Scanning the bus for a new seat, Paramjeet found one at the very back of the bus. “Hi, my name is Ernest, but you can call me Ernie,” said the older gentleman beside him who smelt like pickles.
“I don’t have any mirrors in my house, how about you? “ asked Ernie. Even by pretending to not speak English, Ernie kept rambling on about how he thought iPhones were actually robots who spied on people while they were going the bathroom.
Paramjeet got off the bus three and a half blocks before his destination. Tripping on his nearly broken shoelace, Paramjeet found a penny on the sidewalk. Like his father used to do, Paramjeet picked the penny up and put it in his right shoe that was too small for him. His feet were itchy and sweaty. He would buy new socks too when he got the new shoes.
Lucky penny in shoe, Paramjeet arrived in front of an impressive looking building. A large sign outside the building read Wilson Lee Brown Accounting Services in bold capital letters.
Paramjeet Bhatnagar, meaning ‘highest success,’ felt like he could kick a dog when he saw the building was not open. He had never heard of Louis Riel Day. They didn’t have it in India.
Letting himself fall on the bench at a bus stop, Paramjeet stared blankly at City Hall on the other side of Main Street for 27 minutes.
Paramjeet bent down to tie his shoelace, it snaps. Paramjeet allows three tears to fall down his cheeks. Images of his father swam in his head. ‘I’ll give you something to cry about.’ Tears dried, Paramjeet waited for the number 47 but it didn’t come.
Paramjeet started his 35 minute walk home. Two and a half blocks into the walk, he went to cross Donald Street to the Food Fare to pick up red peppers and onions for supper when he tripped. The number 47 didn’t even see him.
Posted by
Laura Kunzelman
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Facebook is everywhere. Chances are that all of your friends have a Facebook account. There may be one or two that don’t, but you wonder why they don’t when your dad has one.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I sat down to watch The Social Network but I didn’t expect the movie to portray Facebook co-founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg as an asshole; the movie showed a selfish Zuckerberg ruthlessly backstabbing his only friend, Eduardo Saverin. It was a bad move on his part, but the way I think of it, he does own the company and did come up with the idea. So he can do whatever the hell he wants, even be a dick.
Facebook is so immensely popular that it just makes sense that there would be a movie made about it. Though the movie shows Zuckerberg negatively, it will have no effect on Facebook’s popularity. I have heard of a couple instances where some people deleted their accounts after watching the movie, but I doubt Zuckerberg will shed any tears over it.
Zuckerman has characterized The Social Network as fiction, and has said that one of the most accurate things about the movie was that they got his clothes right. His response is appropriate as he seems like the kind of guy that wouldn’t like a whole lot and is critical of everything. Frankly, I think he can say and do whatever he wants and he does. Even though he screwed over his best friend, millions of people will continue to use Facebook daily and he will still be a billionaire.
What crossed my mind while watching The Social Network.
1) Are those twins actually twins?
2) Mark Zuckerberg is the nerdiest badass ever.
3) They are for sure twins. You can just tell.
4) Is this movie good enough to see twice in theatres?
Posted by
Laura Kunzelman
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My friend Erin is a very brave and articulate young woman who took the time Sunday during her valedictorian address to speak up about something that she truly believes in which is rare these days. In a elegant and poignant speech, Erin protested the University of Winnipeg's choice to award Public Safety Minister Vic Toews with an Honorary Degree; Erin said that Toews' record is at odds with the U of W's pledge for diversity.
Way to go Erin for being true to yourself and not letting anyone stifle you. It is good to know that some people have guts.
Way to go Erin for being true to yourself and not letting anyone stifle you. It is good to know that some people have guts.
Posted by
Laura Kunzelman
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Would you know how to detect a fraudulent rental advertisement?
On Sept 16, A.J. Lezak, Allison Marinelli, Erica Johnson and I teamed up in an effort to alert people of the emerging scam.
On Sept 16, A.J. Lezak, Allison Marinelli, Erica Johnson and I teamed up in an effort to alert people of the emerging scam.I have been looking for an apartment for months and have come across many less than credible characters when responding to online ads. Because of this, I have come to develop a sixth sense when it comes to detecting fake ads. My team and I decided that we needed to find one of these ads on Kijiji so we could correspond with the scammer and confirm the existence of these scams. We also wondered what statistics there are out there regarding online rental scams.
It only took one day to find a suspicious looking ad. I was looking for an apartment around Osborne Village or Downtown, one that allows pets, has hardwood floors, and one that is in between $650 and $900. In my experience the fake ads are always the ‘too good to be true’ ones. The ad I expressed interest in was titled, “$650 / 1br - Immaculate & spacious One bedroom apartment.” I emailed the contact address for further details under the pseudonym Nicole.
On September 22, using my sixth sense, we received a response from “Isaac Lagerback” stating that Nicole was the successful tenant, and that he “thanks almighty God that he found someone like Nicole for his property,” and that he “want (sic) Nicole to sticks (sic) on her words as a good responsible and trustworthy person that he can trust with all his hearts (sic).” All that we had to do to secure the apartment was send $350 for the damage deposit and $650 for the first month's rent to 8 Northey Street, Limehouse, E14 8BT, London, England, United Kingdom, as soon as Nicole was ready to move in. Once the money was wired, he would courier the keys to the address which Nicole presently lived at so that she could go to her new apartment at 938 Garfield St N and immediately move in.
We corresponded with him over a span of three days. He was very eager to get me to send him my personal information and keen to get down to business. From research, my team knew that at the location of this supposed apartment for rent sat a house, so we asked “Isaac” what the neighbours were like and what floor the apartment. I can see why some people get suckered into the scam as “Isaac” gave answers that seemed legitimate. But for super sleuths like us, he was no match. When we stopped correspondence, “Isaac” was eager to find out why I was so silent, but after a few days of not responding, he got the hint and my team had all the information we needed.
Now you too can detect fraudulent ads by doing what I did, just read what crosses my mind as I look at apartments as there are many sure signs that you have been scammed contained in this response.
1) How can this 2 bedroom on Wellington Crescent be only $750 a month? This is too good to be true.
2) Wow, I can move in right away? Yes you can . . . Just as soon as you provide a ton on personal information. Then just send $1200 to a suspicious address in the UK and they will mail you the keys.
3) This guy has terrible spelling.
4) He is referencing God way too much.
5) Sure, I believe you that you are out of town for work. I wasn't born yesterday.
6) There is no way I am going to move into an apartment without looking at it. What's that? I can go look at the exterior? Gee, thanks a lot mister.
As for statistics on online rental scams, what surprised us in our research was how hard it was to get statistics on rental scams in Winnipeg. We got some advice, but no one that we contacted had any numerical data. Also, rental scams are not listed on many scam websites.
So if you encounter any of these in your search for an apartment, trust your intuition and newly developed sixth sense and scram. You are being scammed. If it is too good to be true, it probably is. Use your sixth sense. 
Posted by
Laura Kunzelman
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Mayoral Forum, October 6, 2010
Feelings were not taken into consideration earlier this week at a mayoral forum held at Red River College's Princess Street campus, where mayor Sam Katz and candidate Judy Wasylycia-Leis squared off for what seemed like a cat fight. The main issues on the table were crime and community centres; Katz wants for feet on the streets, whereas Wasylycia-Leis wants rehabilitation.
Even with the forum's moderator, CJOB's Richard Cloutier on his side, Katz acted like a teenager who didn't get his way, continually cutting Wasylycia-Leis off and calling her "mom." Even attempting to make her less credible saying she has never been a job. I suppose to a terrible little man like Katz, being a politician and a mom don't really count as jobs. Judy held her composure exceptionally well considering the comments that were being made. At one point Sammy was booed. I was one of the booers. It was rude comments like this one that made me boo him. After talking about her proposal to end the city's budget deficit, Judy said that she has a proposal on the table, and asked Sam what he has done. Sammy barked, "let's talk about reality here, Judy. There's never been a deficit. You're making this up."
At the end of the forum, Katz and Wasylycia-Leis got to ask one another a question. Katz was asked how he would continue to handle the sewage plan. It wasn't entirely clear to me that he gave a sufficient answer; just like many of the answers he provided throughout the two hour forum. What I managed to extract was this, he wants to save money and reveal his plan later. Good plan Sam.
Wasylycia-Leis was asked how she justifies her budget. She calmly said all her receipts were in a box in her garage which made her seem more down to earth to me. Not disorganized like some people were thinking. I thought that Judy was composed and polite while Sam was disruptive and spiteful.
Even with my clear bias towards Judy, it seemed to me that Sam, as rude as was, came out with the most support it.
So what crossed my mind as I watched this ridiculous spectacle?
2) Who would win in a fight between Sammy and Judy. It was determined that Sam would fight dirty and use prison rules.
3) The sun shining in my eyes might be a blessing. It is distracting me from the less-than-civil comments being made in front of me.
4) Want pictures with Sam? Who would ever want to take a picture with him? Not I.
